PeterDavid.net

The Palin wink

There seems to be much discussion about the significance of the Sarah Palin wink, i.e., her tendency to wink into camera repeatedly.

I'm sorry, but as far as I'm concerned, the only reason someone has for winking directly into camera is that Lois Lane has just made a snide comment about how they're never around at the same time as Superman.

PAD

ATTENTION FALLEN ANGEL FANS: HUGE ART OFFER

"Fallen Angel" artist J.K. Woodward is selling the artwork from entire issues of "Fallen Angel," starting with #23 and going up, for $1000 a shot. That is to say, $1000 buys you an entire issue, all twenty-two pages. An astounding bargain, as far as I'm concerned.

You can either write directly to him at jkwoodward@hotmail.com or visit his website at jkwoodward.com.

PAD

THE "COMMANDER IN CHIEF" SCENARIO

Much has been made (in fact, I was one of the first to do so) of the eerie parallels between the current presidential race and the last season of "West Wing."

Has anyone drawn comparisons to Sarah Palin and the short-lived series "Commander In Chief?"

Here we had a series wherein Geena Davis portrayed Vice-President and later President Allen (Allen/Palin. Pretty close), a tall and attractive woman with great personal charm who was put on the ticket largely to appeal to female voters and help the candidate get elected. She, as Palin did, started out with hugely high and positive ratings (Nielsen ratings as opposed to public opinion polls), which dropped like a stone the more people got to know her.

Coincidence? Hmmmm...

Speaking of "West Wing," here's the one thing they didn't account for: Endorsements. My fear continues to be that Osama bin Laden will come forward and loudly endorse Barack Obama. Why? Because bin Laden would unquestionably want John McCain in the White House. A belligerent warhawk who doesn't believe in diplomacy or talking with those in opposition to him? That's bin Laden's ideal. He can get far more mileage out of a McCain presidency than an Obama presidency. And knowing that Americans will do the opposite of what he says, he will naturally push Obama, fueling the fires of those idiots who still believe Obama is Muslim. "See! See! The terrorists want him in office because he's one of them! Quick! Let's all vote for McCain right this second so the terrorists don't win!"

PAD

This is the thread where I'll be blogging tonight

And just to make it interesting, you're all invited to make use of the Palin bingo card that Kathleen just forwarded to me.

http://www.palinbingo.com/

If you get "Bingo" just shout out.

We go live at 8:59 PM.

8:58: Okay, I'm ready to go. Comments below the cut line.

PAD

Yes, I'll be blogging tonight

For the VP debate.

I'd say at this point Palin has the advantage; the same one that Bush had from his first debate with Gore. Expectations for her performance are so lowered that all she has to do is defuse her ineptitude with a smile and laugh and viewers will come away charmed by her and say, "Well, she didn't do so badly."

PAD

Buy Fallen Angel so that criminals don't get their hands on it!

The above is an actual letter received by IDW from a prison that we are mercifully keeping anonymous. Apparently the first two issues of "Fallen Angel" were just too intense for those serving their debt to society.

We are SO using this as a pull quote on the next trade paperback.

PAD

Great Way to Celebrate the Jewish New Year

Buy a copy of my new book, "Mascot to the Rescue," out in the stores today! God will love you for it!

Josh Miller, sixth grader at Demarest Elementary School, has a secret. Everything that happens to Mascot, the superhero sidekick in the Captain Major comic books, also happens to Josh. So when Josh finds out that Mascot is slated to die in the next Captain Major adventure, he knows he has to do something—and fast! A budding comics artist and writer himself, Josh and his new friend, Kelsey (aka Large Lass), take off to find Stan Kirby, the creator of the Captain Major series, so they can save Mascot—and Josh's life.

PAD

Dear American...

(My father in law forwarded this to me. I thought we could all use a laugh. A bitter, depressed laugh.)

DEAR AMERICAN:

I NEED TO ASK YOU TO SUPPORT AN URGENT SECRET BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP WITH A TRANSFER OF FUNDS OF GREAT MAGNITUDE.

I AM MINISTRY OF THE TREASURY OF THE REPUBLIC OF AMERICA. MY COUNTRY HAS HAD CRISIS THAT HAS CAUSED THE NEED FOR LARGE TRANSFER OF FUNDS OF 800 BILLION DOLLARS US. IF YOU WOULD ASSIST ME IN THIS TRANSFER, IT WOULD BE MOST PROFITABLE TO YOU.

I AM WORKING WITH MR. PHIL GRAM, LOBBYIST FOR UBS, WHO WILL BE MY REPLACEMENT AS MINISTRY OF THE TREASURY IN JANUARY. AS A SENATOR, YOU MAY KNOW HIM AS THE LEADER OF THE AMERICAN BANKING DEREGULATION MOVEMENT IN THE 1990S. THIS TRANSACTIN IS 100% SAFE.

THIS IS A MATTER OF GREAT URGENCY. WE NEED A BLANK CHECK. WE NEED THE FUNDS AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE. WE CANNOT DIRECTLY TRANSFER THESE FUNDS IN THE NAMES OF OUR CLOSE FRIENDS BECAUSE WE ARE CONSTANTLY UNDER SURVEILLANCE. MY FAMILY LAWYER ADVISED ME THAT I SHOULD LOOK FOR A RELIABLE AND TRUSTWORTHY PERSON WHO WILL ACT AS A NEXT OF KIN SO THE FUNDS CAN BE TRANSFERRED.

PLEASE REPLY WITH ALL OF YOUR BANK ACCOUNT, IRA AND COLLEGE FUND ACCOUNT NUMBERS AND THOSE OF YOUR CHILDREN AND GRANDCHILDREN TO WALLSTREETBAILOUT@TREASURY.GOV SO THAT WE MAY TRANSFER YOUR COMMISSION FOR THIS TRANSACTION. AFTER I RECEIVE THAT INFORMATION, I WILL RESPOND WITH DETAILED INFORMATION ABOUT SAFEGUARDS THAT WILL BE USED TO PROTECT THE FUNDS.

YOURS FAITHFULLY MINISTER OF TREASURY PAULSON

The Lost Weekend

This entire weekend has been an outing in departure and loss.

First I went down to Florida for the last official night of the Adventurers Club. Make no mistake that there were many positives. First and foremost, seeing cast members both old and new who have become genuine friends of the family. Meeting fellow supporters of the club who came as early as 9 AM to make sure they would be able to get in when the doors opened at 6 PM. Not to mention seeing characters who are either rarely seen (Madame Zarkov, the gypsy fortune teller) or haven't been around since the very earliest days (Marcel, gorilla downstairs butler) or who have never been seen before (the oft paged but never introduced until last night member Sutter Bestwick). And of course there were the shows in the library which usually wrap up around midnight but in this case went until past two in the morning. Frankly, if they were still going right now, as of this writing, I suspect that people would still be packed into the library, ready to stay until cast members were hoarse and crumbling, like Jimmy Stewart in "Mr. Smith Goes to Washington."

Then there was the startling twist engineered by the audience in which the usual winner of the club's Balderdash cup, out-of-towner naif Emil, lost out as the audience--by popular acclaim--awarded the cup to the club's dyspeptic icthyologist and perpetual loser, Otis T. Wren. It was so unexpected that some characters referred, out of habit, to Emil as Adventurer of the Year even though Wren had wrested that honor away from him. A classic case of he who laughs last laughs best. Some of it stemmed from the popularity of the actor playing Otis, and some of it--I think--was from the desire to protest against The Way Things Are. Because The Way Things Are is the reason that the Club is closing in the first place.

Downside of the evening was the crush--literally, the crush--of people in attendance. The word "filled to capacity" was taken literally. You couldn't move. Literally. Couldn't move. In order to get into the Final Hoopla, the last show, I stood pretty much in one place for two and a quarter hours, losing hydration, feeling in my legs, and my temper in the face of one jackass who seemed to be involved in a personal challenge to see how much of a jerk he could be by insulting or picking fights with everyone around him.

And there was the overall frustration that Disney was letting a great thing slip through its fingers by allowing the Club to go away. The evening was rife with rumors over plans to save the place, but at the moment that's all they were: Rumors. Technically the Club isn't done; they have private parties and conventions booked through the end of January. So as long as there's life, I suppose, there's hope.

But there is no longer any life in the Mets. Over their last three games they scored a grand total of five runs. It didn't cost them yesterday but it ended their season today. I rushed back from Florida to be able to see the closing ceremonies on TV, hoping that I wouldn't be seeing the end of their season as well. That turned out not to be the case as Florida followed me back to NY and, for the second year in a row, ended the Mets season. Except they didn't really; the Mets did it to themselves. A game with little run production and a bullpen that couldn't hold the other team back. Howard Johnson, the Mets hitting coach, looked grim as he walked out for the closing ceremonies. Small wonder. He may well be out of a job. When the offense doesn't get it done, they endanger the job security of the guy who's supposed to help them get it done. How can you attribute anything special to the Marlins when we've seen this particular scenario game after game after game against all different teams? A sour and bitter send-out of Shea Stadium, which is going to be torn down and replaced with a field that serves as a gigantic corporate sponsorship.

So basically it was a weekend of loss. Losing the Adventurers Club, losing the season, losing Shea Stadium. I suppose we should count our blessings: At least it's Citifield, not WaMufield.

I know I'm supposed to feel upbeat for all the memories. But memories fade. Sometimes they're even cruelly stolen by the ravages of age. What frustrates me is that when things go away, others don't get to experience them. There was a young woman at the Adventurers Club who was in her twenties, talked about how she had been coming to the Club since she was five, and was there with her three year old daughter. Yes, the woman has her memories. But her daughter won't. Nor will Caroline.

The past is fine, but disheartening when there's no future.

PAD

Saving The Adventurers Club--Phase Two

UPDATE: 7-22-08--I officially retract everything I said about Jim Hill. Check it out:

http://jimhillmedia.com/blogs/jim_hill/archive/2008/07/22/peter-david-maps-out-a-campaign-to-save-the-adventurers-club.aspx

I've decided that simply sending letters to save the Adventurers Club may not be enough. Previous letter campaigns to various companies have been more effective when there are visual aids accompanying them.

You see, to the best of anyone's knowledge, Robert Iger has never actually been to the Adventurers Club. Not once. In fact, for all we know, none of the decision makers have ever actually visited it, or have the faintest idea of the superb family entertainment it offers.

So here's what I intend to send Robert Iger, and I hope fellow supporters--or those who have not yet had the opportunity to enjoy the Club and want to have the opportunity to do so--will do this as well:

Maps

What Obama needs to do to win a debate

Because he didn't win this one. Not overwhelmingly. He got in a few solid hits, and perhaps on debate points he edged out a victory. But he didn't do what he needed to do, which is overwhelmingly convince undecideds. Now granted I'm speculating because I haven't polled any undecideds, but I don't think his performance was strong enough to sway anyone.

I think he needs to follow the philosophy of a poker player, as nicely espoused by James Bond: You don't play the cards. You play the man. Obama spent the debate playing the cards that McCain dealt him, and he needs to be running the table.

McCain's Achilles heel is his legendary temper. Obama needs to get McCain to transform, on screen, into that cranky guy down the block who tells the neighborhood brats to get the football off his lawn.

How? By calling him a liar. By questioning his honor. By saying something like, "Senator, with respect, I think we both know that if your choice for vice president were the Democratic candidate for President, you would be standing here shredding her on her lack of experience, her lack of preparedness, and that the presidency shouldn't require on-the-job training. How dare you stand there and flaunt such thunderous hypocrisy, that you would hold me to a standard that you don't hold your own possible successor to. You have forever tossed away the right to play the experience card as you have repeatedly done with me tonight, and I think you owe an apology to the American people for such dishonorable behavior." And he needs to say that politely but firmly, and then stand back and watch McCain fly off the rails. Because if you push his buttons, he will.

He needs to be able to convey that McCain doesn't belong in the Oval Office; he belongs in a Scooby-Doo cartoon saying, "And I would have gotten away with it if it wasn't for you rotten kids!"

UPDATE: I was torqued to read "Newsday" attributing the Wall Street/Main Street thing to John McCain even though Obama said it twice before him. Hey, here's another thought: If McCain makes snide comments about a liberal voting record again, Obama can say, "You know who else had a liberal voting record? The Founding Fathers in voting for change. Now I know, Senator McCain, I know...you knew the Founding Fathers. You worked with the Founding Fathers. The Founding Fathers were friends of yours, and I'm no founding father. But I'll do my best to live up to the example they set and the Constitutional freedoms they lay down...freedoms that your good friend, George Bush, has stampeded over."

PAD

THE DEBATE: Running log

Which may be interrupted from time to time as I look in on the Mets game, which they are currently losing 3-0 to the frackin' Fish.

Commentary below the cutline.